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The sky is blanketed with twinkling accessories and an antique pendant. It’s half past six in the evening already but the day is not even half finished yet. This is my third year as a Communication student. And I must say that all throughout my academic life, this is the very first time that I am in a constant 25-hour routine.

     They say that the third time is the charm. But if you ask me, that third thing cliché, as I am experiencing now, is the heaviest burden. I don’t intend to exaggerate but I really dread the end of each of my class where the teacher would give additional tasks that are due within few days. Did I mention that we should produce a sincerely crafted and out-of-the-box piece. Seem too easy, eh? Now here’s the drill. Juggle with writing factual and fictitious pieces, reading manuals and hand-outs, learning a script, studying for tests, voice recording, taping, auditioning, blogging, researching, visualizing a production, organizing a seminar, preparing for a stint, developing a show, doodling logos, photo shooting, reading some more prose, recalling history, and trying to look cool and poised at the end of each day. Between using a pen, paper, and hell, DSL, each one should be pumped by powerful thinking. Now that’s OUTRAGEOUS, if not CHAOTIC. The schedule is so rigid that taking a time off just to eat or even sleep (I badly need one) can serve a lifetime of guilt already! (The last sentence is a hyperbole).

     In a classroom squabbled by not-so deserving ones, I could only think “what are you doing here?” Now that sounds pretty harsh. I’m not saying that I’m better than them because, admittedly, at this point in time, I’m slowly losing my lifeline. However, I still fancy myself to be one of the venerated faces and respected names because I know that I am one of the bests! (yabang!!!) frankly, it’s really hard to be challenged when I’m surrounded by people who don’t stand as threats to me. Therefore, I opt to take a dangerous route where my studies hang at a risky point just for the sake of blending in (reading between the lines highly required!).  Then comes the frequent absences and missed tests. I am defiant by nature. And so my life went into the dustbin.

     I know my strengths in different fields, that of which I can rightfully claim the pedestal of being the best. On the other hand, I am also aware of my weaknesses in some aspects where my classmates can actually outdo me. But I leave no room for being the worst.

     In a dog eats dog world, it should be an advantage that I’m equipped with enough arrows. But if the opponent is swordless, battling seem too pointless. What’s more likely to happen is I bleed from the wounds I inflected with my own arrows.  My own superiority serves as my waterloo. Whatever happened to me I the past two years, I have grown to become a greater opponent of myself.

     To make my situation worse, my mentors are becoming more cruel and torturous with activities and projects. Yes, I complain about that! Imagine how I would function properly given the never-seem-to-end piles of tasks I have to finish? (as mentioned above). Week after week seem to be an eternal hell! |Can I, like, take a vacation for even just twelve hours? If you haven’t noticed, I’m getting so burned out here. I need to breathe! Oh, can I still fit in my ungodly schedule a single moment to breathe? OMFG, with all that multitasking,  do I still know how to brethe? Waaahhh!!!!!

     Ok, AJ. Enough already!

     The article above is meant to be used as an elegy if ever I die from getting a little far too toasted from school works (or the inability to breathe, assuming I really have forgotten how).

COMPENSATIONS

     At this point in time, I stop protesting about unfairness because I now realize that my mentors only want me and my classmates to create, to evolve, and even to actually grow way better than them! To surpass their expectations is an amazing feat, to disappoint them unforgivable.  So to Leah, Jaja, Aprilette, Joan and Tom… cheers! I am overwhelmingly motivated, humbled and encouraged by you. I salute you! Yey!!! ÜÜÜ

     Honestly speaking, the fourth state have had enough of practicing procrastination and mediocrity. I know that it takes a lot of getting used to, but it is just about time that we now imbibe total dedication and discipline. So let’s us all throw away our negative “bayanihan” vibe (you know what I’m talking about) and let’s promote self-reliance even just this once (now I’m so sure that you know what I’m talking about!). It’s just about attitude, you know.ÜÜ

     In some ways more than twice, you, my jolly classmates, have managed to execute an unexpected attack. And believe it or not, I love to see you victorious! So let me congratulate you for making an excellent performance. Exercise your prowess and I soon would no longer be asking why you’re here.

     Together, we shall reawaken to a big reality check. Let’s aim for a promising future (as is being engineered by our teachers).

PS: Repent! The tightly-guarded hidden answers is never the solution! (*wink*) Here’s an arrow… fight!!!

PSS: you chose to be in this course so show us what you’re made of. Have you really made the right choice? I hope so… Good luck! Smile smile!!! ÜÜ

     I know that time has never been my friend. But I can outsmart it if I only learn to be flexible. I simply have to give justice to my God-given abilities.

     I often questioned myself why I can’t seem to reach my destination. I found the answer right under my nose: I opted to make a turn and chose a detour though I know it won’t do me any good.

     Nevertheless, my absences have somehow made me focus more to myself in order to pick up to the point where I left off. When I was suspended from the fourth state, I realized that I’ve caused myself (and sometimes, my pocket) too much damage already. It’s about time that I start to take a second look to myself. Love me, love me. It’s never about how far I’m going outsmart each of my classmates in order to stay on top. This time around, I more than ready to get back on the game and very much determined to continue what I halted. I learned that outlasting is actually the name of the game. So back off!!! (hahaha, joke lang ‘yung last part. ÜÜ) Go AJ!!!

     Okay, okay. This writing has grown long already. I can’t really be wordless about this, I suppose. Ironic that the title didn’t reflect the content (and I was even able to come up with a dramatic intro, hahaÜ).anyway, please give a hand for verbosity! Yey! I just hope I’m making some sense here.

     To wrap it up, my being a third year Communication student isn’t that bad after all. Actually, this seems to be the most fruitful. Yes, I am tired; I am powerless. But after my eight-day routine, just allow me to sleep for a short while and once I got up in bed, do me a favor and watch me shine! You heard me right… S-H-I-N-E!!! Now I don’t usually entertain any violent reactions but this time will be an exception. But, you see, it’s five am as of this writing and I’m desperate to sleep. So spare me for a while, will you? Tata!

(-.-,)**zzzZZ

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